Proverbs 31:26 "She opens her mouth with wisdom. The teaching of kindness is on her tongue."
I am sure that most of you have heard the phrase a child is seen not heard? There is some lessons to be learned even as adults in that phrase. Why did that phrase come to be? Well from my understanding it came to be because children did not understand what the conversation was talking about and therefore could not add to it. I remember many times being told that I just didn't understand and that I needed to refrain from speaking for fear of making a fool out of me and the people I was around.
As adults, we tend to think that we know a little about just every subject out there. From politics to gardening, from health care reform to education. Every adult has an opinion on each subject and they are set in their ways about that opinion. But what if we only opened our mouths to speak about those subjects that we really understood? What if we took the time to listen to the leaders in each of those areas and learned from their wisdom?
As I got ready to study today's step towards becoming a Proverbs 31 Wife, I realized that there have been many times that I have opened my mouth only to hear garbage come out. I need to remember that tried and true statement that we heard a thousand times as children. If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all. What would happen if I took that phrase and made it my lifestyle? Would my relationship with my family look like? I would like to think that my life would look a lot better. I think that if all I ever said was words of kindness towards my husband even when I was frustrated with him, I would be able to build him up to a place that God wants him.
When we look at the second half of this verse, we notice that we are called to teach with kindness. How many times as mothers do we forget this part of being a Godly wife? How many times do we react to something that our children are doing with anger in our voice? I know that for me as I struggle with being a Godly mother towards Sarai, I find myself saying or responding in ways that are full of anger. How am I to teach Sarai the ways towards being a Godly woman if I am continually putting her down as a child?
Just yesterday I ended up losing my cool with her. We had been in the truck for about an hour or so, she had been fussy the entire time. I was at my whits end. She didn't need a diaper change, she wasn't hungry, she had just gotten up from her nap, why was she making the most annoying sound in the world? It wasn't until we got to the post office and got our mail, that I totally lost it. I received a letter from the SSA telling me that they overpaid me and if I wanted to make an appeal that I needed to do that in writing. So why did this letter get me so mad? Well that's because for the past 6 months I have been working on that appeal. I received this letter in December and sent in all the paper work and here 6 months later I had to do it all over again. And I couldn't even get someone on the phone to sort this out! So here I was sitting in my truck in the heat, reading this letter while Sarai was screaming in the back seat and Dan was sitting next to me saying Sarai, Sarai its ok Sarai. I was through. I was done with everything and everyone. So what did I do? I SCREAMED SHUT UP!!!!!
At that point I was done being a wife and mother. I wanted out! I wanted to get so far away from my life. I was sick and tired of having to show everyone else how to do their job. I wanted to be able to for once get away.
Almost as soon as I got angry, I was reminded of this verse. Was I speaking words of wisdom? Was I teaching with kindness on my tongue? No I was allowing all the hard work that I have been doing to be wasted. I had to stop and evaluate my motives. So this morning when I was getting angry at something that was happening, I stopped and thought about the example I was giving my family. I want to be able to be proud of the vocabulary that I am teaching my daughter.
And that is today's step towards becoming a Proverbs 31 Wife.(and Mother)